If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading – Lao Tzu

I am so surprised with what a big old clear out can do for your positivity and mentality.

Today my partner of two years is leaving my home and moving on to pastures new, we had split around 3 and a half weeks ago but due to certain circumstances he had nowhere to go so I allowed him the pull out in the front living room of my home.

He has been saving and searching since we split and he has now found himself a little flat to call home, wonderful. Last week I had gathered his belongings from the back living room and storage so that he could easily remove when the time came and last night, knowing the move was today, I decided to clear out the bedroom for him to.

All our things (as you can imagine) where jumbled together in various drawers and hiding places so I step by step worked through the items, separating the documents, items and clothing into his and hers piles. I then bagged everything accordingly and removed from the room to again allow him easy access when the van arrived.

Once all of his possessions had been removed I realised how empty my bedroom was. My bed looked huge (it is a super-king size – which was a terrible idea in hindsight – but still), the room was bare, my eight drawers were not even half full and had been overflowing previous and some of my favourite items had vanished, such as his large golden framed mirror 😦

But anyway, I quickly forced myself to get over the misery as now I had a blank canvas. All rubbish had been removed it was tidy and spacious. I organised and reorganised the space so that it best suited ME. I changed the bedding and added a few throw cushions that I had always been fond of. I arranged MY beauty and make-up supplies in an organised and display like fashion. The space that I had left quickly began to fill me with inspiration, I wanted to redecorate, buy art, buy a new golden framed mirror and get a throw for the bed to make it a little more cosy.

Whatever it was I realised this was a fresh start, it brought me back down to the bare bones of the room and was the best time to rebuild it how I wanted it. Make it MINE. This prospect has inspired me so much I am currently searching for new curtains, when I really should be working!

But it just goes to show, even a sad, upsetting or disruptive time can be perceived from another angle, it can be a time of rejuvenation, not just for the room but for your mind. I hope that my experiences can inspire you to turn the tables on how you are feeling and look at even the worst negative as a positive and find within it a change for the better and a new and improved you.

One must not let oneself be overwhelmed by sadness. – Jackie Kennedy

I was talking to my friend yesterday and he told me about SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder. I had never heard of this disorder before yesterday and the only reason we got to talking about it was because as we were watching some documentary based in the USA whilst outside our UK window we noticed there was a vast contrast.

So intrigued I have looked further into this, done my research, and I was shocked by the level of woe-is-me that some of the world has allowed to overtake us. Maybe it is just me, and please I mean no disrespect to anyone through writing this, but I believe we are stronger than this, we used to be Vikings, Mongols, Romans, Apaches, Samurai, Spartans and Knights! And now we need a happy pill because it rains. Anyway… read on if you wish J

First was is SAD? For those of you who don’t know (like myself) below is the nhs.uk’s description of the disorder taken from http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Seasonal-affective-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx.[Edited]

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“Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that has a seasonal pattern.

The episodes of depression tend to occur at the same time each year, usually during the winter.

As with other types of depression, the two main symptoms of SAD are a low mood and a lack of interest in life. You may also be less active than normal and sleep more.

 

Winter depression

SAD is sometimes known as “winter depression” because the symptoms are more apparent and tend to be more severe at this time of the year.

The symptoms often begin in the autumn as the days start getting shorter. They’re most severe during December, January and February.

In most cases the symptoms of SAD begin to improve in the spring before eventually disappearing.

What causes SAD?

The exact cause of SAD isn’t fully understood, but it’s thought to be linked to reduced exposure to sunlight during the shorter days of the year.

Sunlight can affect some of the brain’s chemicals and hormones. However, it’s not clear what this effect is. One theory is that light stimulates a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, which controls mood, appetite and sleep. These things can affect how you feel.

In people with SAD, a lack of sunlight and a problem with certain brain chemicals stops the hypothalamus working properly. The lack of light is thought to affect the:

• production of the hormone melatonin
• production of the hormone serotonin
• body’s circadian rhythm (its internal clock, which regulates several biological processes during a 24-hour period)

Diagnosing SAD

You should visit your GP if you have the symptoms of SAD. They may carry out an assessment to check your mental health.

Your GP may ask you about your mood, lifestyle, eating habits and sleeping patterns, plus any seasonal changes in your thoughts and behaviour.

Treating SAD

As with any type of depression, SAD can be difficult to live with. It can make you feel tired, stressed and unhappy. However, it can usually be treated successfully.

Light therapy is often used to treat SAD. It involves sitting in front of or beneath a light box that produces a very bright light. Light boxes come in a variety of designs, including desk lamps and wall-mounted fixtures.

You should speak to your GP and read the manufacturer’s instructions before using a light box to treat SAD.

Depending on the nature and severity of your symptoms, talking therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or medication such as antidepressants may also be recommended.

Your GP will recommend the most suitable treatment programme for you, which may involve using a combination of treatments.”

 

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So, with research and reading complete (the above article only being part) I honestly can’t decide what I make of this disorder, I can appreciate the lack of sunlight and therefore the chemical explanations but I just can’t accept that as people we are not able to overcome the fact that it is cold and rainy sometimes. I want us to be stronger than this, be able to use our inner weather to control our mood, not be affected by clouds.

 

Depression is a very real illness and one that many people suffer I know and understand that just fine, however from my experiences I found that the drugs didn’t work, the CBT was a load of old phooey and the only reason recovery was so easy and happened so radically for the people affected (including myself) was that we woke up one morning thinking we are not happy with this life, we are going to take responsibility for ourselves and our feelings, we are going to change the way that we feel.

 

I think without that fight and want to make the positive changes being inside you, and to be honest most depression sufferers will never get that feeling because of the disease, but I strongly believe that is the only cure. Yourself and your will to overcome it.

 

With that being said I also can understand the blame everyone status we hold as a culture and the hypochondriac frame of mind that some of the sufferers hold, but I think providing these folk with the information that the weather is to blame, is a step too far. We are warriors, we are brave, we should not be this weak to let ourselves destroy ourselves and definitely not allow the weather to play a part in this.

 

 

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer – Albert Camus

I have recently been put into a position where my life will change, I am loosing my job. It’s because of outside interference, cost cutting, reorganising and the like and basically that the position I currently have will no longer exsist.

So at first naturally I blamed myself for the unfortunate situation, that I had not tried or worked hard enough or that I had not been the best I could be. This was a low time but did not last too long.

As what followed was erractly blaming everyone else for my misfortune, finding ways to justify the surrealisms that they had pushed this evil on to me by not fully appreciating my abilites and dedication. I did not enjoy this stage as everyone had always been so supportive and my accusations where purely imaginary.

Then I gave up blaming and realised something wonderful.

Once the natural human emotions had subsided I recognised that I had not been wronged at all, I had been given a great opportunity to change my life. I was free from the contractual obligations of my work, work which I liked yes, I did enjoy my job, but I didn’t love it. And now I had the chance to find something I would.

People always asked me when I was young what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer changed everytime I was asked. Id flick from hobby to hobby enjoying every one of them but not finding anything that stuck more than a few weeks.

I thought life was easy when I was young, you decided to be a doctor and that’s what you did, and I suppose for some it is that easy, but for me deciding what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, was and is the most difficult decision.

One thing I have decided however is I am going to seize this opportunity, explore the options, change my hobbies and interests every minute if I have to to find that perfect fit. Enhance my skills, learns new abilities, discover hidden talents and I am sure that when I find the right one I can power forward towards that goal.

This is one of the reasons I started this blog, to share my experiences, offer help and guidance to others but also to find myself. Discover the true me. What I love, what I hate and why.

I hope you all enjoy this journey with me, and that you can take a little help from my writing, and ramblings, so that you may also be able to find yourselves to.

Plan your work for today and everyday, then work your plan – Margaret Thatcher

This segment is all about action planning. In my job it is crucial that I get this part perfect or my whole professional world would collapse. This does not just apply to me and my work however, it applies to all who want to succeed.

The importance of a good action plan transcends mere diarising as it is all about the bigger picture; Your life in its entirety. Looking at point A,B and C, and all the steps of how to get from one to the other.

So first we need to work out goals, a short term and a long term. I normally break this down as Where do you see yourself in a week, 3 months and 6 months. Of course you could use any time frame and as many pointers as you desire but this is my example.

Now the specifics at this stage are not completely necessary, we need an overview and outlook of the future. I always write these down or type up on the computer so that I can refer to them and modify them easily as time goes on.

I’ll just add at this point that this may all seem like simple stuff, planning is something we do everyday but what I am asking you to do is more than just thinking about your future, I want to to envision it, detail the how’s and when’s and make a success of your life.

Now back to the task, so once you have your date markers write the outline. This could be a money making outline: 1 week-£10, 3 months-£100, 6 months-£500. Or it could be a self worth exercise 1 week-loose 2lb, 3 months-be attending the gym weekly, 6 months-buy a new dress a size smaller than what I am today. Anyway you get the picture just basic guidelines of what you want to achieve, and be realistic youre never gonna make a million in 6 months (unless you have something brilliant up your sleeve) or loose half you body weight (without getting incredibly ill) this is about planning for a successful future, not a quick fix.

Once you have your frames the details come next. How are you going to get to point A. Some good things to bear in mind with this part are:

What items will you need?
Who can help you?
What skills do you currently have and how can you improve upon them?
Where will you be carrying out the work?
What money is involved?
Why is it important to you?

Once you have answered these questions move onto the other time time frames and do the same for each.

The purpose of this exercise, as previously mentioned, is to undertnad where you are heading, how you are going to get there, who is going to help, what you plan to achieve. This plan is not set in stone it can be altered and modified as you see fit but at least you have an idea. An idea of where you heading is better than running headless into the abyss. An idea of what you want to achieve on paper can guide you to greatness. Put effort and honesty into this it will lead you to greatness and allow you to visualise your ability to succeed. If nothing else you will be able to identify what will and will not work in your favour and imagine your ability to become your dream.

Good luck.

Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated – Lou Holtz

Slight side step here to discuss motivation in general, I completely understand that your sofa is very comfy and that the sunlight hurts your eyes and that people in general are difficult, however we shan’t get anywhere with that amount of negativity.

Think past the fact that you may have to use public bathrooms, or inconvenience yourself with wearing more than your underwear and look towards the future.

What is it you want? Money? Nice things? Attractive partner? No, what do you really want?
Stability?
Comfort?
Security?
Company?

That is what is going to drive you to success, real wants and needs.

It’s only human to require these things, money and luxuries are all well and good but we do not need those things to survive. We are basic creatures, food, and shelter, warmth, done. Any more than that is a bonus. Being able to have and provide for a family is a luxury but one I think far too many of us take for granted.

By being honest to yourself and realising your needs you are already half way there. You know what you want all you need now is the how? And that is where the rest of this blog steps in to offer a guiding hand.

One piece of advice I enjoy sharing is the people around you make more of a difference to your life than you may realise, and not always in a good way. If you are surrounded by people who are not motivated, who do not see a future, people who are happy with merely surviving, this will influence you, though you might not see it.

For example if you took a day off work ill, knowing full well you we’re perfectly healthy and all day you were constantly explaining to people “I have a headache” or “my head is so sore” chances are by the end of that day you will have a killer headache, this is because of the power of your brain and its ability to make thoughts, actions and discussion a reality. So with this is mind if you surround yourself with folk who constantly lay around, do the most minimal effort possible, say things like “I can’t be bothered” or “I am not good enough” or “I don’t care” those actions and discussion process through your receiving brain and begin to form part of you. You will begin to mimic their actions and their feelings.

So again with this in mind imagine what you could achieve if you were surrounded by thrill seekers, risk takers, people with ideas and imaginations, people who do not take no for an answer, push the boundaries, people who take self-improvement seriously, travel and communicate with people of the same persuasion. People who say things like “I can do this” or “I have made this happen” and “I have achieved greatness” this again will reflect on you, influence you, expand your mind and take you to places both internally and externally you would never have ventured without their input. The possibilities are endless.

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later – Og Mandino

As Linus Pauling once said “The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas” that is our starting point, brainstorm. First consider what are your strengths and weaknesses, literally write down what you are good at (don’t write down the negatives) from this you should be able to get a picture of, at the very least, what field you would profit from best.

For example if you notice a lot of caring, helpful, friendly type words you would think you would be best suited to a care giving role. Whereas if you have words such as organised, computer skills, routine you may be more suited in IT.

I have created a short test (link below) for you to use to identify which area your skills may suit the best. Please do not take the results as gospel but more a helpful hint in a direction.

http://tinyurl.com/ptrpvpx

 

Once you have your idea and you are facing toward your future the next step is research. Find out everything you can about your desired field. Consider the past, present and future, what lies ahead and is that a ship you wish to board. You need to know who is in charge and why they are, what the main purpose of the outfit is and why and consider how you fit in. What can you offer to this field, where is the nearest place that offer this type of work, will it meet your physical needs, questions questions, questions, but all very important and in need of answers before venturing further.

This also applies to entrepreneurial plans, do all of the above the same; Find out what field your skills would best be suited to, research and find out everything about that field including what is currently missing.

For example if you found your skills met and then decided you wanted to pursue a career in teaching, consider: what does your community currently have available? Schools yes, colleges likely, university maybe? What about the students? What do they choose to study? What is the most popular course? What are the pass rates of these establishments? Where do the students fall short of the mark? Maths? English? Maybe they could use extra help? Maybe they would pay to be privately tutored? Maybe you could talk to the schools about running after class workshops in the subject?

This is only an example but as you can see by asking the right questions and finding out the information before hand it will lead you down a path where you can discover what is required, then all you need to do is create a solution and be the solution.

The internet is a powerful tool, use it. You can find out almost any piece of information you require. You can find data, learn, communicate; anything is possible if used correctly. This I personally believe should be your first port of call but not the only one, visit places, ask questions, ring companies, ask them, you can learn so much by talking and asking and as long as you explain why you’re calling most companies would be happy to help you in your research (or at least give you contact details of someone who can help).

That concludes the second step. Next up is action plan.

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail – Benjamin Franklin

The most important element of all the advice I can give you is your mentality. You must have a ‘can-do’ attitude. You must visualise to realise. Remember the saying ‘good things come to those who wait’, the saying should be ‘good things come to those who want it the most’ as that is closer to the truth.

Ever wonder why that certain someone gets all the luck, gets the best job, has more money than you? They have all those things because of their mentality, they are out in the world persevering, learning, developing and you, you are complaining about them.

Firstly: the brain. The brain is a powerful tool, it connects with the universe, it creates the opportunities you seek and it gives you the power to achieve your goals. Consider then if your brain was constantly thinking about negativity, going over the failures and the unfortunate situations you have experienced, or if it is not being pushed to its full potential being used purely to process the latest TV drama or computer game, do you think that brain would lead you to greatness, I shouldn’t think so.

So that being said first step to prepare for your successful future is prepare yourself.

• Read every day, read something different, something out of your comfort zone, the focus here is to absorb the knowledge (quality over quantity) so make sure that you understand every last word you read, keep a dictionary by your side whilst you read to give you the best chance to fully understand, appreciate and remember the information you are discovering.
• Learn a new language, or at least attempt it; you don’t have to be fluent to gain the experience of broadening your abilities. The task of learning a new language taps into part of your brain that you wouldn’t necessarily use on a daily basis, this gives you a great opportunity to increase your intelligence but also learn interesting new tools in life and maybe even expand your perception of people and cultures.
• Exercise regularly; Now this might sound odd for someone who wishes to start an IT company but wonderful things happen to your body and mind when you exercise, chemicals are released creating positivity, sleep patterns improve which will in turn help with concentration and creativity, overall body physical fitness will aid in your day to day travel and meetings, early starts and late nights. Also remember to exercise your brain, do crosswords and Sudoku’s whenever possible, build jigsaws or play card games, these will all help to keep your brain working and motivated, they can also help with memory and concentration again.
• Focus on your goals, many people are not sure of what they want when they start out (I will talk later about planning for success) but when they find the target it is then when it becomes difficult to stay with that idea. Moving towards your goal will introduce you to many ideas, situations and people that you could sway you away from your original target, especially at difficult times. These are distractions that should be avoided. I am of course not saying not to take from these ideas or people to enhance your product, but do not lose your original focus and go down a different route completely because of them.

Once you have prepared yourself and put into place the beginning motions of self-appreciation and enhancement you are in the best place to start your journey of becoming a success.